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Fighting for Foster Children: Mrs. Dondiego Goes to Trenton

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She had never done this before, but that fact wasn’t going to stop her.

Sue Dondiego, our foster care organization’s founder and a stay-at-home foster mom, stood before legislators at the State House in Trenton in the 1970s, fighting for foster children’s rights.

“It was scary,” Dondiego said. “I was nervous as heck.”

Fighting for foster children’s rights

She was there to fight for increased board rates. At the time, the monthly clothing allowance for a child in foster care was about equal to one-third of the price of a new children’s coat.

She had the text of her speech all written out beforehand. After watching others give testimony before her, she realized that many of the speakers would use slashes in the text as places where they would breathe in order to slow down and be more effective.

She did the same.

“It’s cold outside,” Dondiego told the legislators. “What part of the coat would you like me to buy the child this month? The right sleeve? The left sleeve? The buttons?”

Fighting for foster children's rights

Learning how to fight

Dondiego read her testimony and quickly left. As she was walking out, she heard two voices yelling at her to come back.

They were Assemblywomen Mildred Barry Garvin and Jane Burgio, who would eventually become Secretary of State under Gov. Thomas Kean.

“They said to me where is it in the budget?” Dondiego said. “They showed me, this is the department’s budget, this is where we could put it. And they said you start now for next year. They really taught me.”

It was a lesson Dondiego would use often throughout her life fighting for foster children’s rights.

Her passionate testimony resulted in a 26 percent increase in board rates that year. She attended the appropriations committee meeting where the increase was passed.

“I stood up and asked them if I was allowed to say thank you,” Dondiego said. “They said no, but you’re welcome.”

It was one of the first victories Dondiego and Foster and Adoptive Family Services would have in the name of foster children and their resource parents.

“It felt good,” Dondiego said. “We’re getting things done.”

Continuing the fight

The victory emboldened Dondiego to continue fighting for foster children’s rights.

“Then I never shut up,” Dondiego said. “I got nervier. One year, I looked up the definition of child abuse and read it out loud. Then I looked at them and told them they were all guilty.”

She was a long way from the quiet young girl that the nuns in her Catholic school would often have to plead with to speak up during class, she said.

“If they could see me now,” Dondiego said.

She’d continue to testify in Trenton, always fighting for foster children and resource parents. Many times these sessions would go late into the night while her husband Bernie was home in Middlesex watching their children.

“He was the silent support structure,” Dondiego said. “He’s also a great cook. He’d have supper ready for me when I got back.”

Milestones In Foster Care History The 1970s | NJFPA Holds First Meeting at Shiloh Baptist Church

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Milestones in Foster Care History in NJ – The 1970s – Foster parents Sue and Bernie Dondiego and Hattie Talley go from a kitchen table with just the 3 of them to a statewide meeting of concerned foster parents after forming the New Jersey Foster Parent Association (NJFPA), known today as Foster and Adoptive Family Services (FAFS).

Milestones in Foster Care History in NJ – The 1970s – Memories of the NJFPA’s First Meeting at the Shiloh Baptist Church

What I remember most about that first meeting is how many people showed up, because it was only by word of mouth. At that time, we had no other way of getting the word out. We didn’t know who was who really. We knew some people, and we said if you know any foster parents, tell them to come. We told all the people we knew and they all brought people. We always had good meetings in the counties. We had a lot of representation. I would say, out of the twenty counties, we had at least twelve counties. Some were more strong then others. Middlesex was strong because we were from there, Burlington was strong because of Hattie, Camden was strong and Newark was strong – and Jersey City was strong. Some of the foster parents who came to that first meeting are still fostering today! Continue reading →

Milestones in Foster Care History in NJ The 1970s | Formation of the New Jersey Foster Parent Association

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Milestones in Foster Care History in NJ – The 1970s – Foster parents Sue and Bernie Dondiego and Hattie Talley sit at a kitchen table and discuss issues facing foster parents and how to work together to bring about positive change for the children in their homes. They create the New Jersey Foster Parent Association (NJFPA), known today as Foster and Adoptive Family Services (FAFS).

Milestones in Foster Care History in NJ – The 1970s – Meeting with Hattie Talley and the Formation of the New Jersey Foster Parent Association

When we met at that kitchen table back in the early ’70’s, it was just a few foster parents talking. Hattie Talley, who went on to form the organization with us, Carol, and ourselves.  We were just telling war stories like we always did.  But then Hattie said, “This is how it’s always going to be if we don’t help one another. We have to support one another and reach out to one another.”  And that’s how it started that day. Continue reading →

NJ Foster Care History Timeline The 1970s

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History shows the early 1970s were a challenging time for foster parents in New Jersey. At the start of the decade, there was no local organization for foster parents to join to get support, advise them on advocating for foster children, or even provide training on parenting abused and neglected children and teens. This all began to change in 1972 when a few foster parents met and came to a conclusion.

“Someone has to stand up for the foster children. If not the foster parents, then who?”

NJ Foster Care History Timeline – The 1970s

1972 – Foster parents Sue and Bernie Dondiego and Hattie Talley sit at a kitchen table and discuss issues facing foster parents and how to work together to bring about positive change for the children in their homes. They create the New Jersey Foster Parent Association (NJFPA), known today as Foster and Adoptive Family Services (FAFS).

1974 – FAFS (then known as NJFPA) is incorporated

1974 – FAFS (then known as NJFPA) holds its first meeting at the Shiloh Baptist Church in Trenton, NJ

1974 –  FAFS (then known as NJFPA) takes part in NJ Action for Foster Children in State Chambers, State House and members march to the State House to meet with Governor Byrne

1974 – FAFS (then known as NJFPA) holds first statewide training conference on foster care

1974 – FAFS (then known as NJFPA) receives state funding through the Division of Youth and Family Services (DYFS), now known as the Division of Child Protection and Permanency (DCP&P)

1975 – FAFS (then known as NJFPA) establishes State level committees developed to serve foster parents

1978 – FAFS (then known as NJFPA) representatives serve on committee that establishes uniform, statewide mandatory pre-service training for foster parents

1978 – FAFS (then known as NJFPA) representatives serve on committee to establish Child Placement Review Boards

1978 – FAFS (then known as NJFPA) representative and other child advocates testify at Joint Appropriation Hearing and successfully receive a 26% increase in reimbursement rates for children in foster care

Over the last 4 decades, FAFS has made innovations that have greatly improved the quality of life for foster children and foster parents in New Jersey. To learn more, visit www.fafsonline.org.